I know the sound the light makes when it touches my face
It sings the sun in the morning and in the dawn
And outlines me in a thousand faces
Where my mind runs in all directions until it’s gone.
And I cover my eyes when it finds me in the morning.
And I open my eyes as it sinks into the ground
And the moments that I think of as it happens
Have no wording though there is meaning
It is without sound.
And in the silence the words are formed inside
That breaks into the day and into night
And i know the sound the light makes when it touches my mind
And the outline left is what you’ve left behind.
I know the sound the light makes when it touches my face
That leaf has lost its sun
It’s pale and it’s leaves undone
No flower to set aside
The emptiness that’s inside
The green that will never grow
The flower that
I’ve planted the tiny seed
That makes me fall to my knees
And I water you.
And I wait for you to grow.
I wake to every day
I see you inside my sleep
I feed you my warm embrace
Inside you my soul you keep
I wait in the night for you
But seemingly you are through
But still my heart aches and shakes
Remembering Love we made
I’ve fallen and I’m undone.
Insides ar e breaking numb
Branches I limp I’m sore
I carry you never more but the memory
Is heavy still
I lost my faith in you
In everything that you do
But yet heart yearns for you
That leaf has lost its sun.
And I’ve come undone.
Where christmas reminds me of so many things
And the poetry grows with each memory
In childhood the lights and the crocheted bells
My grandmother made
Where there was only one left after my parents house
Flooded away like a memory
The gate left open so it was easy to drive in
A welcome mat.
And now the same meals
The same turkey
The same family
Less my father.
The man who made everyday christmas.
My real life santa Claus
Though i rarely asked him for things i wanted.
They magically appeared
And as i grew older through the years
He was the gift i wanted most.
To get into his truck.
To watch the sun rise.
To watch the sun set.
To take pictures of absolutely nothing
Where christmas reminds me of so many things.
My daddy reminds me of mine.
He shakes you.
All at once i remember how to spell my name.
I write it carefully
And I hear the music
I hear my heart beat
I feel myself dancing sitting still
And still I dance
And I lose sight of what I was thinking
Until what I was thinking
Is what I am thinking and
I see myself for the first time
While I’m breathing
Believing in myself
After he woke me up.
Buttons pulled through the fabrics of our imagination
You undress me with your mind
In simple words I write on paper
That I lose
Somewhere between my freedom
And the truth
I watch you cry
And I cry
And I swallow my freedom
Well before I die
Inside myself I’ve died a thousand times
While I watch you wait
For me to change my mind
Where my mind is made
Each time I see us kiss
Inside my mind I feel the soft
Touch that leaves my body motionless.
And life returns to me with just a whisper
The gentle words that leave your lips
And they wet my tongue with sweetness long thereafter I read
Your thoughts on a blanket nearly numb.
Where the idea of you makes me come undone.
And I’m naked close beside you
Emotions I may never feel again.
The touch of your words
What you find.
In the fabric of my imagination.
Undress me with your mind.
I turn on my dreams in my pillow.
The sound awakens me.
But my mind returns to the rain
And the ocean gently singing me to sleep
That escape my breath
As I hold the thought of you
between my fingers
Along the soft stitched silks of my blanket
That are quietly curled
Between my fingers
For you to fill my hands with
I want to be a leaf.
I want to fall from the tree
Waiting to touch the ground
Having never felt it’s surface
I want to change color and drift
Along the wind
Landing somewhere in time
Where a child finds me
And keeps me in a book
I overlook years later.
I want to be a bird.
I want to fly over the mountains.
I want to swing through the clouds.
Breathe them in
I want to smell their scent
Like morning on my wings.
Where I drift like feathers
Softly falling in the wind
And I fly over memories
That I’ll never see again.
I want to be a window
That stays open to the rain
Let’s the air breathe through its door
Let’s the sun in.
That you look through
When your mind starts to wander
That follows your eyes
Closed and wide and captures the dreams and laughter
Of the moments you’ve made me smile.
I want to be your friend.
And come and sit awhile
By your side
Without needing to say a word
Look you in the eyes
And be understood
I want to hold your hand
I want to feel your touch
More than just a friend.
So much more than that is love.
But I am only me.
Myself is my friend.
And the language that I speak
Only I understand
I do not fall like the leaf
But I stay open in the rain
I cannot fly like a bird
Or love you like a friend.
The sound of leaves falling
Makes me smell paint
Early in the morning I feel
The rain before it comes
Blowing against my outstretched
Hands I hold the light.
And I carry it within until night
But it is the moon
That lets me sleep and tears
Away my dreams too soon
They grow like flowers and die inside themselves
Shattering their seeds into mirrors of glass
I see myself looking in to.
In my own painting
Quietly awaiting to be painted over.
I am uncertain which part of me remembers
The other side of morning when the world stopped
It’s turning to let the sun rise.
The sky was a different color I can no longer paint.
And each part of me begs for forgiveness for
Breaking the limbs and the branches off
The old oak tree.
For they no longer carry beauty.
I walk away without my eyes
Having left them in the mirror
Staring at my own reflection
Wet from the sunset
I lie there glistening
Like the tears I wait to fall
Blind inside my own shadow
My empty rooms that guide me to my heart
Scared in a closet
Waiting for the moon to turn on the light
And the stars to fall
So that I might make a wish
And find the in between of the days
I’d spend with you
There you in the mirror
Like the birds you throw your bread to.
Carefully you wait
It loses its shimmer in the pale afternoon
When you pull out your chair
Aware of the darkness approaching
I turn on a light.
I turn it off
I open the window to let light in.
All at once I feel me in my hand
Fly away like a bird
But I’m asleep
Storing dreams and clouds and words and rocks
And I’ll keep them in my cardboard box
Until it gets wet
From memories I can’t forget
And dreams I’m too blind to see.
I’m uncertain which part of me
Remembers the other side of me.
I can see the lines in your face
The memories painted on your skin
The familiar spots along your arms
And the fading ink on your shoulder
Where my eyes focused defending the moment
Against the emotion welling up in my eyes
Until I couldn’t see through them
But I dare not shed a drop
To lose a memory
A moment in time so grateful that I had
This is not the end….
I can see you telling your stories
Without words now the images
Still circulating in your mind
There are things you’ve yet to say
Words for me to write down
So that I remember
The sound of your voice
And the smell of your presence
As you say them.
Burying them deep in my mind
So that I might dig them up
Like a child someday
Finding the treasures of her childhood.
Where you certainly were mine.
Locked away now in a box
Buried in the lives of many
The memory holds you still alive
In the moments that I find myself
Searching for You in the place
That is my heart.