She Walks on Water

For my daughter.

She can’t.
She can’t walk.
Give her some time.
She can’t write.
Give her a pencil.
She can’t speak
Let her sing.
She can’t dance
Let her hear the music.
She can’t smile.
Let her feel happy.
She can’t play.
Let her play her own way.
She can’t get through a day without weeping.
Let her live her life.
Let her decide her fate.
She can’t
Be without
She can’t.
She can’t live without
She can’t.
She can.
Walk like water and feel the earth.
She can.
Run for miles and in rebirth
She Can write for moments without distress
She can.
Speak poetry that melts
The loneliness
When you dance
And you hear the music sing it is her being
Her joy of everything
That is her freedom.
And the water of the earth
That feeds her joy
And the meaning of her birth
Give her a pencil.
All she’s after
To communicate.
Love and laughter.
And
She walks on water.

outline

I know the sound the light makes when it touches my face
It sings the sun in the morning and in the dawn
And outlines me in a thousand faces
Where my mind runs in all directions until it’s gone.
And I cover my eyes when it finds me in the morning.
And I open my eyes as it sinks into the ground
And the moments that I think of as it happens
Have no wording though there is meaning
It is without sound.
And in the silence the words are formed inside
The light
That breaks into the day and into night
And i know the sound the light makes when it touches my mind
And the outline left is what you’ve left behind.

undone

That leaf has lost its sun
It’s pale and it’s leaves undone
No flower to set aside
The emptiness that’s inside
The green that will never grow
The flower that
Never glows
I’ve planted the tiny seed
That makes me fall to my knees
And I water you.
And I wait for you to grow.

I wake to every day
I see you inside my sleep
I feed you my warm embrace
Inside you my soul you keep
I wait in the night for you
But seemingly you are through
But still my heart aches and shakes
Remembering Love we made
I’ve fallen and I’m undone.

Insides ar e breaking numb
Branches I limp I’m sore
I carry you never more but the memory
Is heavy still
I lost my faith in you
In everything that you do
But yet heart yearns for you
That leaf has lost its sun.
And I’ve come undone.

Christmas

Where christmas reminds me of so many things

And the poetry grows with each memory 

I see.  

In childhood the lights and the crocheted bells 

My grandmother made 

Where there was only one left after my parents house 

Flooded away like a memory 

Of christmas.  

The visits.  

The gate left open so it was easy to drive in 

A welcome mat.  

A memory.  

And now the same meals 

The same turkey 

The same family 

Less my father.  

The man who made everyday christmas.  

My real life santa Claus

Though i rarely asked him for things i wanted.  

They magically appeared 

And as i grew older through the years 

He was the gift i wanted most.  

More time.  

To get into his truck.  

To watch the sun rise.  

To watch the sun set.  

To take pictures of absolutely nothing 

But time.  

Where christmas reminds me of so many things.  

My daddy reminds me of mine.   

Thank you

He shakes you.  

Awakes you.  

All at once i remember how to spell my name. 

I write it carefully 

And I hear the music 

I hear my heart beat 

I feel myself dancing sitting still 

And still I dance 

Without moving 

And I lose sight of what I was thinking 

Until what I was thinking 

Is what I am thinking and 

I see myself for the first time 

Sitting still 

Moving 

While I’m breathing 

Believing in myself 

After he woke me up.  

Thank you.  

Sheets

Buttons pulled through the fabrics of our imagination
You undress me with your mind
In simple words I write on paper
To remember
That I lose
Somewhere between my freedom
And the truth
I watch you cry
And I cry
And I swallow my freedom
Well before I die
Inside myself I’ve died a thousand times
While I watch you wait
For me to change my mind
Where my mind is made
Each time I see us kiss
Inside my mind I feel the soft
Intense
Touch that leaves my body motionless.
And life returns to me with just a whisper
The gentle words that leave your lips
They linger
And they wet my tongue with sweetness long thereafter I read
Your thoughts on a blanket nearly numb.
Where the idea of you makes me come undone.
And I’m naked close beside you
Taking in.
Emotions I may never feel again.
The touch of your words
What you find.
In the fabric of my imagination.
Undress me with your mind.

Tide

I turn on my dreams in my pillow.
The sound awakens me.
But my mind returns to the rain
And the ocean gently singing me to sleep
It tries
In waves
That escape my breath
As I hold the thought of you
My longing
between my fingers
Tightly clenched
Along the soft stitched silks of my blanket
That are quietly curled
Between my fingers
Silently waiting
For you to fill my hands with
Tomorrow.

To Be

AD6B2C4F-F975-4BDF-A3CF-2282112A9B13I want to be a leaf.
I want to fall from the tree
Waiting to touch the ground
Having never felt it’s surface
I want to change color and drift
Along the wind
Landing somewhere in time
Where a child finds me
And keeps me in a book
I overlook years later.

I want to be a bird.
I want to fly over the mountains.
I want to swing through the clouds.
Breathe them in
I want to smell their scent
Like morning on my wings.
Where I drift like feathers
Softly falling in the wind
And I fly over memories
That I’ll never see again.

I want to be a window
That stays open to the rain
Let’s the air breathe through its door
Let’s the sun in.
That you look through
When your mind starts to wander
That follows your eyes
Closed and wide and captures the dreams and laughter
Of the moments you’ve made me smile.

I want to be your friend.
And come and sit awhile
By your side
Without needing to say a word
Look you in the eyes
And be understood
I want to hold your hand
I want to feel your touch
More than just a friend.
So much more than that is love.

But I am only me.
Myself is my friend.
And the language that I speak
Only I understand
I do not fall like the leaf
But I stay open in the rain
I cannot fly like a bird
Or love you like a friend.

I want.
I want.
To be.
Me.
Again.

Paint

The sound of leaves falling 

Makes me smell paint 

Early in the morning I feel 

The rain before it comes 

Blowing against my outstretched 

Hands I hold the light. 

And I carry it within until night 

But it is the moon 

That lets me sleep and tears 

Away my dreams too soon 

They grow like flowers and die inside themselves 

Shattering their seeds into mirrors of glass 

I see myself looking in to.  

In my own painting 

Quietly awaiting to be painted over.  

Part of Me

I am uncertain which part of me remembers 

The other side of morning when the world stopped 

It’s turning to let the sun rise. 

The sky was a different color I can no longer paint.  

And each part of me begs for forgiveness for 

Breaking the limbs and the branches off 

The old oak tree.  

For they no longer carry beauty.  

I walk away without my eyes 

Having left them in the mirror 

Staring at my own reflection 

Wet from the sunset 

I lie there glistening 

Like the tears I wait to fall

Blind inside my own shadow 

My empty rooms that guide me to my heart 

Scared in a closet 

Waiting for the moon to turn on the light 

And the stars to fall 

So that I might make a wish 

And find the in between of the days 

I’d spend with you 

There you in the mirror 

Like the birds you throw your bread to. 

Carefully you wait 

Watch 

It loses its shimmer in the pale afternoon 

When you pull out your chair 

Aware of the darkness approaching 

I turn on a light.  

I turn it off 

I open the window to let light in. 

All at once I feel me in my hand 

Fly away like a bird 

But I’m asleep 

Storing dreams and clouds and words and rocks 

And I’ll keep them in my cardboard box 

Until it gets wet 

From memories I can’t forget 

And dreams I’m too blind to see. 

I’m uncertain which part of me 

Remembers the other side of me.